Sex, Disability and Self-Acceptence

When your body is hurting you so deeply, it can feel impossible to imagine it giving you pleasure It has always been easier for me to love other people than it has been to love myself. The saying “if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else” is not a complete truth; there have definitely been periods of my life where I have given … Continue reading Sex, Disability and Self-Acceptence

Fifty shades of fucked up- why Christian Grey is a useless dominant and Ana is a terrible submissive.

For a blog like mine, addressing the Fifty Shades trilogy is an annoying, yet inevitable, task. One of the most frequently asked questions I receive is what do I think of E. L. James’ Twilight-inspired erotica, and whether the sex described is anything like my own sex life. The short answer is a definite ‘no’ on both counts. If you care why, read on… Let’s begin … Continue reading Fifty shades of fucked up- why Christian Grey is a useless dominant and Ana is a terrible submissive.

From canes to chains: a guide to implements and how to use them.

If you’ve been curious about trying out spanking, this is a sign! Long time no speak! This is a piece I’ve been meaning to put out for a while, so hopefully it’s worth the wait. When practising kink, safety is obviously something you have to constantly be conscious of, particularly when implements are involved. When used incorrectly, implements like paddles can do damage to your … Continue reading From canes to chains: a guide to implements and how to use them.

Being the third: Is three really a crowd?

Threesomes. Increasingly mainstream and the ultimate prize on the sexual bucket list of many, they have been lauded in popular culture as simultaneously desirable and damaging for decades. Men are taught that to have sex with two women at once is an incontestable display of masculinity for which they should be applauded, and women are told that willingness to participate in sexual acts with their … Continue reading Being the third: Is three really a crowd?

Learning to become vulnerable through my body

Breaking down the physical boundaries I had kept in place for so long proved to me that intimacy is not necessarily a threat… After I was raped by a stranger at the age of thirteen, I began to feel as if I were decaying from the inside out. I saw my heart as a well that had been poisoned; nothing safe could flow from it. … Continue reading Learning to become vulnerable through my body

Kink: Beyond Fifty Shades

I believe I can be a sub and a masochist and a feminist without any ideological conflicts… For most of you, the infamously risqué ‘Fifty Shades’ trilogy will not only have formed your introduction to the world of kinky sex, but will constitute your entire experience of it. E. L. James’ Twilight fan fiction turned bestseller has thrust kink into the cultural spotlight, and I … Continue reading Kink: Beyond Fifty Shades

Sex & Self Love

PSA: not only beautiful, thin, white, straight, cisgender, able-bodied people have sex! Sex itself does not make me nervous. The nakedness that generally accompanies it, however, makes me horribly anxious. I am terrified that a partner will suddenly see the imperfections in my body that I am all too aware of and that somehow this will make me less worthy of their time, their respect, … Continue reading Sex & Self Love